How you can create opportunities through stories
Wednesday, December 18, 2024 - Joe Kiedinger
Our stories matter
Before we are workers, we are people. We all come from different walks of life, and each of us has a unique story and experience that shapes how we interact with the people and circumstances we encounter. It’s the experiences that we have going through each stage in our life that form and mold the things that truly define us – our traits, our style of communication, the way we see things, and so on.
Put simply, our stories shape how we interact with the world around us, and this of course carries over into the workplace. This exchange of perspectives, between people with different perspectives, experiences, strengths, and methods is where the magic happens. I have the honor of working with people at Dignify and in our client companies that are completely different from me, so I see this in real time every day.
When people are familiar with each other’s stories, they have a frame of reference to understand who that person is and why they behave in a particular way, which makes collaboration incredibly easier. When people know what to expect from each other and why, and have that level of mutual understanding, confusion and unhealthy conflict become a rarity. Communication and cohesion go up, and those people are able to work together much better than they would normally be able to had they not understood each other’s stories.
This is why I’m a firm believer in the idea that sharing our stories with the people we work with, especially as leaders, can make a huge difference. Your people will get a better understanding of your leadership style and how they can support you, and if you take the time to learn about them as well, you will get a better idea of how you can adjust your style to lead in a way that works best for them. So, how do you get started?
Getting the most out of stories
To start things off, you need to approach the situation with a level of vulnerability. Now, when we talk about vulnerability, we don’t mean that you need to share your deepest secrets or thoughts, but you do need to be willing to show your true, authentic self to your people. This is much easier said than done, and it might seem counterintuitive for those who are more guarded. Brene Brown, an authority on vulnerability who struggled with it herself, acknowledges this reality, but emphasizes that vulnerability is the key to genuine connection.
If you struggle to get to this level of vulnerability, don’t rush, start small. You have a lot of resources you can use (including Dignify coaches) to help you ease into it and make it natural. When you do get to the point where you’re ready to share your story, don’t feel the need to overshare or dive to deep, just give your people enough context to understand who you are, how you lead, and why you do things a certain way.
After sharing your own story, don’t stop there. What you’ve done is set the example for your team to start sharing their own stories, whether it’s with you, their peers, or their reports. Encourage them to follow in your footsteps and enable them to express their full authentic selves in their work. As more and more people share and get to know each other better, I guarantee you will find that communication and cohesion will start to improve, and conflicts will become less common. People who know what to expect from each other work better together.
The bottom line
When people share their stories and understand each other, it can really transform the way they work together. By being vulnerable and genuine as a leader, you encourage your team to do the same, helping everyone gain a better sense of where others are coming from to work better together. This makes communication clearer and collaboration much more effective. As these connections grow, conflicts become less common, and the team starts to operate with a stronger sense of cohesion. Ultimately, it’s authentic exchanges and detailed understanding that turn a group of individuals into a highly connected, high-performing team. Your story matters – share it!
JOE KIEDINGER
ACTION PLAN: Get vulnerable! Start small, build up your level of comfort, and strive to share your story with your team.